eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
