Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
