They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
