We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
