Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
