youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place