Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.