Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.