I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving