Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

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(813): I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins? http://tfl.nu/vjtk

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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.

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(614): I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet. http://tfl.nu/xezw

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(630): View more from Illinois

Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc

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(630): Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc http://tfl.nu/6dlb

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week

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(780): girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week http://tfl.nu/5wm5

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.

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(201): Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs. http://tfl.nu/3fsr

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(+47): View more from Norway

i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls

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(+47): i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls http://tfl.nu/1fkx

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

What did you cook with whisky?

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We started a fire.

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(306): We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky. (1-306): What did you cook with whisky? (306): We started a fire. http://tfl.nu/4y3v

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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.

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(503): Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination. http://tfl.nu/nd2x

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(913): View more from Kansas

You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.

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(913): You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic. http://tfl.nu/rxwg

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(229): View more from Georgia

I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.

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(229): I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant. http://tfl.nu/p9a2

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(718): View more from New York

I don't deserve a penis

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(718): I don't deserve a penis http://tfl.nu/gla8

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.

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(717): Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe. http://tfl.nu/jnko

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.

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(610): Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day. http://tfl.nu/k3zd

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences

(919): View more from North Carolina

great clearly means different things to us

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(919): The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories (1-919): Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences (919): great clearly means different things to us http://tfl.nu/ha8x

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.

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(423): I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT. http://tfl.nu/s23s

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