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I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't deserve a penis
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
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