I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.