dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
