he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize