Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
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accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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