Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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