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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
