i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
