doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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