Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
