I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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