oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
