FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
