I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
