I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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