You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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