mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.