Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.