'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
