I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
