There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
