Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize