are you still at the devil's house?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
