after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
