I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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