do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Green mimosas i think yes
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
