I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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