after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
