Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Randomize
