So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
MIDGETS
????
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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