Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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