you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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