Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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