Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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