I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
