grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
