That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
