Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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