just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
