so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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