I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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