I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
