your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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