it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
