so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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