I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
