I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i think i just lost a toe
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
