Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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