woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize