Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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