At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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