there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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